Well , been long since i touch this blog .
I want to voice out so many things yet i couldnt .

How's everyone ?
I really miss secondary school times .
I miss waking up at 6am everyday reaching home by 3pm.
I miss wearing school uniform .
i miss those time where we have lunch together after school .
Where's everyone ?
I miss all of you so much .

I'm feeling shitty .
I meant very .
O's results was DISASTROUS .
I lost faith in God , Trust in God .
Hearing lots&lots of voices .
Lots&lots of different opinion from others .

• People telling me i aint up to that standard for the course i wanted .  which is no longer early childhood but psychology .
• people telling me i should re-take my o's ang give myself another chance to do to my fullest .
• People telling me that i should take early childhood not psychology .
• Psychology aint good , dont take it . You wont find a job in future .
• Go for it if you love it , will give you the fullest support .

I really don't know whose advice to heed on .
Seriously , if i do not take up Psychology , there wouldnt be any second option for me to choose other course . i HATE Business , Engineering etc..
It's just not me .
Just let me do what i like and tell me positive stuff instead of negative .
FML FML FML !

Thanks man , Yuzhu !
Because of you i went to Seoul'd Out and of course no regrets !

Didnt went to the airport for their arrival ,
Went on the 2nd day planning to look at them ^^

Woke up at 7.30am getting ready to meet Jaesther.
Ran up the escalator , chasing after every 2 mins MRT.
Finally reaching there at 10am!
But .....
FT only came out after 4 ._.
But in between T-max and Mario walk pass Melly,Crystal and I .
The 3 of us were far away from all the other fans.

Their crews were smart , telling them to walk through our side .
The 3 of us kept telling one another not to scream while they walk pass us .
In the end, FT walk pass us and all the fans from another side ran nearer to us .

Their face were too fabulous , too pretty to be called a guy.
How can a guy be prettier than a lady ?

While they were on the way to Korea Plaza (i think this is the place)
One of the FT's car (Jaejin,Minhwan,Hongki) were beside us .
Jaesther could clearly see Jaejin .
Jaejin stick out his hand from the small little gap from their car window and waved to her ^^

After so much they went for canning at night for their rehersal.
We climb through all the grasses and wall and get to see them reherse.
They sang Jaejin a Happy birthday song.
Hongki heard and his cute replied was : Whose birthday ? Whose birthday ? Jaejin .......
They went back hotel & shortly all of us went home

2nd day

Jaesther& her group of friends helped us to queue to get in seoul out . ( Thank You)
Went Plaza sing to for our breakfast/lunch/dinner .
Went up Daiso to buy a gift box and decorated it with "diamond" for hongki .
Seoul Out was defintely great !!
Will go again next year if they ever organize one again.

Went back to hotel after concert ended ,
manage to pass my gift to Hongki despite all the pushing from fans.
He took it with him .
Saw only my fan gift and another girl's fan gift .
Happy ! ^^
Waited for them at the hotel till 2 am
Went home with crystal.


Now i really do miss Hongki ...
Cant wait for next year fanmeet :)

I was browsing through my all my photo albums in my laptop .
I went through it album by album .
Looking at all the past photos that were from 2007 till now .

I realised how much each of us had grown .
We became more independent on one another .
Realising that we've had actually know one another for about 4-5 years .

From someone that doesn't know how to think about our future to someone who works hard for our own future .
Our relationship became stronger ...
We knew that we need one another alot more .
We went through alot together .

I wouldnt want to forget this and even hate the past for who we became .
Through all those bad memories we've grown .
It's those bad memories that made us stick together as one .
It's those bad memories that made us realised studies are important .
We've gone through an exciting journey that no one else will have it .
We knew it among ourself .

We might have left bad impression on others .
But look at the good side , we left great impression on others that we change & became hardworking towards our studies .

I've never had a chance to thank both of you .
We went through real difficult moments at times , We went really good moments too .
5 Years is a really long time ... But when you think of it , it really ain't a long time .
I enjoy every single outing with both of you .
From midnight movies , Birthdays , Staying over night , Chinese New Year , Jumping around in orchard at 3am ....
I truly enjoyed all these ...
In a year to come during this time at 2010 .
I hope we will still be having a great time with one another .


Lastly , I really love both of you more than words can say .

♥

Exams will start in 10 days time .
I am worried & fearful .

The more money i had , the more clothes/shoes i purchase it online .
Never endless buying .
In the past , i said this to myself : " the more you're out the more you spend ."
Now ,  i said this to myself :" the more you're at home , the more time you spend surfing the net , the more clothes/shoes you purchase online."
SHIT MAN .
what's wrong ?

29 DAYS MORE .
EVERYTHING WILL END .
It will be time for me to prepare for more practice & saving up of money to go korea !!

Had Fun :D
 
Have been busy this whole week

Mon- sentosa with girls
Tuesday - Pratical ; korean lesson2
wednesday - do nothing !
thursday - guitar with cellmates
Friday - cell group
saturday - BBQ
sunday church

I don't know if you reads my blog .
Although we no longer talk , i want you to know i still care for you .
I know you care for me but ...
i feel really hurt of what happened to us .




A THOUSAND TIMES I FAILED , YOUR LIGHT WILL STILL SHINE WHEN ALL ELSE FADES .
I COULD HAVE LOST A FRIEND OR EVEN ALL OF MY FRIENDS
Lord , let me believe you will still be there for me .
Even though i've change Lord let me know you have been there .
There was never once i am truly happy after so many things happened .
i have been crying and you know that . you know that LORD !
I AM YELLING CALLING SCREAMING WITH ALL I AM FOR YOU LORD .
CALLING YOU DEEP DOWN IN HARDENED HEART .

IF ..................................................................................................................................